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DVAM – Day 24: Misplaced Honor and Misguided Shame

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Rambling Thoughts:

Today I find myself thinking about the notions of virtue and honor as it pertains to girls and women around the world. There are certain cultures that view a woman’s sexual activity before marriage to be particularly shameful. Some go one to the extent of extending said at the perceived intent of such a thing. The men of the family, typically the father or older brother, would take it upon themselves to kill these girls/women so that the shame and dishonor might once and for all be washed with the blood of the victims.

Of course, these acts happen despite the laws of the land saying otherwise. The authorities can charge no one because the perpetrators in this case are protected via alibi and vague information and inconclusive witness reports. Many a time, they know who but can’t press charges.

I sit her this morning and I can’t help but shake my head. When the did the notion of protecting the womenfolk of their family turn so violent? Also, why the double standard? In some of the cultures, rape by male cousins is par for the course but in the end girl is killed and nothing happens to original raping cousin. When did the notion of a woman’s virtue get limited to her virginity? Why could it not have extended to the notion of a woman as a whole? Why could not have become empowering and supportive instead? Where in our grand history as a people did we turn the corner towards the violent? Or, has it always been that way?

Today’s Offering:

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Misplaced Honor and Misguided Shame

By: Meena Rose

So the story goes;
Girl meets boy;
Boy likes girl;
So the story ends.

What happens next depends
On where you live and what
You family believes in -
It could be a budding courtship

Or it could be an honor killing.
Anthropologists may say that the roots
Of this practice have to do
With control over reproductive

Rights and whose blood to fuse
With in growing the clan;
It is no different than how a
Herd of cattle’s expansion is planned.

I would not have understood it then;
I definitely do not understand this
Act of pure selfishness and control;
I’d consider me dead if there was a

Me back then for I am willing to
Bet a shameful encounter would
Have been contrived to justify my
Murder for I would have been

Raising a raucous about such
Misplaced honor and misguided shame;
I am certain I would have been killed and
Diced into little pieces – sorry, gents

My story would liberate others’ thought
And fuel thinking and contemplation;
It would illicit change – perhaps, I died
Back then and have come back to avenge my death.



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